Movin' On Up

Well, I am moving tomorrow. Distance sometimes does wonders for relationship. I'm grateful for the opportunity to gain some perspective on all of this.

I wasn't sure I had the inner resources to do this contractor position that involves relocation, but I'm going to. In a bit of a whirlwind of preparations now. In fact, I'm not sure I have time to find pics to include in this post.

Sorry for the absence of eye candy!

Goal: Address Pattern of Opening My Mail

For the second time since I became aware of these upbringing patterns, I discovered my inspiration-to-empowerment opened my mail. Or maybe it was actually the third time. She thinks since she knew what the mail contained, it is okay that she opened it.

This strikes me as ironic because she's also the sort of person who is very much about following society's rules. There is a rule that says it's illegal to open mail not addressed to you. Oh, the irony.

My goal is to communicate effectively my preference that she not open any mail addressed to me, because that is what I prefer. I don't need justification. I don't need logic. It only matters that I would prefer that my mail remain unopened.

Mission Accomplished

Actually, awesome readers, I just initiated that conversation and expressed my preference. She responded as if my preference was silly because she has not done it very often. That is okay, though, as now she knows it matters to me even if she minimizes it, and because she sees herself as a person who does the right thing, and does what others want, I have a feeling she'll be a bit more mindful about the mail, and therefore less likely to open mail addressed to me.

I'm looking into other sources of income, and I am certainly continuing to make progress. I will continue setting boundaries with her.

Applying Past to Present

I did live away from her once before, for several years. I started that experience by again asserting my preference to live independently - i.e. without what seemed like an overbearing level of involvement in my life. I started the experience by saying for my own development, I did not want to talk at all. It was drastic, but it worked, and I really enjoyed that time.

However, at one point I shifted the preference to say talking was alright, but I did not do a good job of maintaining boundaries. We spoke at least once a day, often more. I don't want to make that same choice this time. I am determined to limit contact, even if she attempts to induce guilt about that.

I'm excited to have this opportunity to live elsewhere for awhile, and to be too busy to speak as often as she would like. I do get the reasons she behaves this way, and I'd enjoy mending the relationship, but for now some distance is just what the doctor ordered.

What Do You Want to Read About?

I intend for my next post to be less personal story blogging and more about a topic that others would value. If readers have topics you'd like me to discuss, please let me know! I read all comments to this blog, and they are moderated, so I'm the only one who sees them unless you intend them for public view.

Empowered Action Steps Taken

• Secured an income opportunity elsewhere
• Communicated initial preference about my mail (will repeat)
• Making space in my head to get clear about additional income steps
• Chose a space to rent that will be conducive to the above reflections